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c/autismemeryfoxemeryfox2mo ago

A comment at the park about 'quiet hands' really bothered me

I was at the playground with my kid and heard another parent tell their child to stop flapping and have 'quiet hands'. They said it was 'distracting the other kids'. That phrase hit me wrong. My own child stims by rocking, and it helps them handle the noise and crowds. Trying to stop a natural coping method seems more about making others comfortable than helping the child. It made me think we focus too much on making autistic people look 'normal' instead of accepting their needs. What's a better way to handle stimming in public without making the child feel bad?
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3 Comments
alicelopez
alicelopez1mo ago
My cousin’s kid used to hum this one specific tune when he was stressed, like in a crowded grocery store. We all just learned to tune it out because it meant he was keeping it together. Trying to shush him would start a real meltdown. The world is loud and bright enough without taking away the quiet things that help a person cope.
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ivanpatel
ivanpatel2mo ago
My nephew does the hand thing when he's overwhelmed. We just say "you're good, bud" and let him be. Trying to stop it just makes everything worse for him.
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the_kelly
the_kelly2mo ago
Read a study that backs up what @ivanpatel is doing.
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