Heads up: Letting one person control the conversation can ruin a book club debate quickly

I learned this the hard way in my book club last month. We were discussing a controversial novel, and one member kept interrupting others - it was like they had a monologue going. It caused all others to go quiet, and the debate just died, which was a shame because we had good points to share. I picked up the skill of gently steering the discussion back to others, which took some practice. For instance, I now ask open questions to get all members to join in, and it really helps. If you don't watch out for this, your book club might become a lecture, and nobody wants that. Trust me, it's worth the effort to keep debates lively and fair.

3 comments

3 Comments

caleb2412mo ago

Ruin the debate" feels a bit strong, doesn't it? Sometimes one person just gets really into it. I've been in clubs where a passionate monologue actually sparked better conversation later, because it gave everyone something solid to react to. Maybe the quiet members were just thinking, not totally checked out.

taylor_flores2mo ago

Ha, reminds me of what @faith_palmer51 said. I'm usually the one giving the monologue, so I guess I'm the problem.

faith_palmer512mo ago

Back in my college philosophy group, this one guy would dominate every session with his views on free will. We all thought he was just hogging the floor, but later found out the quietest girl in the room was writing a paper based on his rants. It turns out she was paying close attention and used his points as a springboard for her own work. Sometimes the loudest voice just sets the stage for others to jump in when they're ready. Not that I'd ever admit that to the guy, he'd never let us hear the end of it.