Our book club in Seattle almost fell apart last month over 'The Silent Patient'.

Half the group thought the twist was brilliant, the other half called it a cheap trick, and the argument got so heated someone left early. We saved it by having everyone write down one thing they liked and one thing they hated before we talked, which forced us to listen. What's your go-to method for calming down a debate that's getting too personal?

3 comments

3 Comments

charles_chen931mo ago

The first time my group tried this was after three people almost walked out over "The Left Hand of Darkness" we had to get people to write down their biggest complaint and then pass it around. @terry_butler you nailed it with that subject change trick though, I tried it last week when things got heated over "Blood Meridian" and just asked if anyone wanted to grab another beer from the fridge. It gave everyone that two-second reset and we came back talking about the actual writing instead of yelling at each other. The written note method works but sometimes you just need that quick break to remind everyone you're all on the same team.

emeryfox3mo ago

Seattle book clubs are hardcore. My method is to just start dramatically reading the most boring paragraph from the book out loud until everyone shuts up.

terry_butler3mo ago

Man, that's a solid trick. I see this everywhere, not just books. People get so locked into being right about a movie or a sports call that they forget they're talking to a friend. My move is to force a hard subject change for two minutes. Like, ask who wants another drink, or point out a weird dog walking by the window. It breaks the tension because you're all suddenly looking at the same neutral thing. Then you can circle back without the claws being out.