Visiting professor in Austin told me my debate style was 'combative not constructive'

She pointed out I kept interrupting instead of asking clarifying questions, so now I force myself to pause 3 seconds before responding in any free speech forum discussion.

2 comments

2 Comments

bettyk531mo ago

Oh honey, that professor had a point... and it's something I see everywhere now. People just talk over each other without even listening, like it's a race to be heard instead of a conversation. I've noticed it at family dinners, in grocery store lines, even in church groups where folks are supposed to be polite. That three-second pause you're doing is smart - it gives your brain time to actually hear what the other person said before you jump in with your own stuff. So many arguments could be avoided if people just slowed down and asked a simple question first instead of assuming they know what's coming. It's like we've all forgotten that listening is half the battle in any talk...

hannah_williams1mo ago

Tried the same trick after getting called out for bulldozing a friend's point at a dinner party. Pausing three seconds feels awkward at first, but it completely changed how people react to me. Now I ask a quick question to make sure I got their point before I even offer my take, and honestly, half the time I realize I was about to argue against something they never said.