Got weird looks at a family reunion for saying I dont want kids

I was at my cousin's wedding reception in Pittsburgh last summer. My aunt asked me when I was gonna settle down and have a couple of rugrats. I said probably never, I like my quiet Sundays too much. The whole table went silent and my uncle muttered something under his breath about selfish millennials. Nobody talked to me for like an hour after that. Has anyone else had family completely shut down on them for saying something that's just your normal life choice?

2 comments

2 Comments

thomas10513d ago

Oh man, that's rough. I gotta tell you, last Thanksgiving at my brother's house, I made the mistake of saying I was happy being single and my grandma literally handed me a tissue and said "it's okay, the right one will come along." The whole room got real quiet like I'd announced I was moving to Mars. Here's the thing that gets me. People act like you're attacking their whole life story when you say you don't want kids. My coworker Bob had six kids and every time I mention my peace and quiet, he jumps in with some story about how fulfilling chaos is. Like okay Bob, I'm happy for you and your minivan, but I'm also happy with my Sunday naps. The wedding thing is extra awkward though. Weddings make everyone weird about family expectations. They see a couple and immediately start planning your whole future for you. I got asked at a wedding once if I was "next" and I laughed and said absolutely not. The bride's mom didn't talk to me the rest of the night. You're not alone in this. My cousin Mike told his dad he was never having kids and his dad didn't speak to him for six months. Six months! Over hypothetical grandchildren. I think deep down they hear us and it makes them wonder if their own path was really chosen or just expected. But that's their thing to figure out, not yours. Your Sundays are yours.

mia_singh2413d ago

uggggh the whole "selfish millennial" thing is so tired. i saw this article once that said older generations had kids because it was just what you did, not because they actually wanted to raise them or anything. like they had them to fit in or whatever. so when we say we don't want kids it makes them feel judged for their own choices. honestly your quiet sundays sound way better than dealing with screaming toddlers at a wedding anyway. don't let their weird silence get to you, they're just projecting.