I finally got honest feedback from a writing group and it hurt so bad

Last tuesday at the downtown library writers meetup, a retired editor named Carol told me my fantasy novel opening was 'too busy trying to be clever instead of telling a story.' She pointed to three specific sentences on page 2 that were just purple prose with no substance. How do you guys handle critique that cuts deep but is probably right?

3 comments

3 Comments

brooke717d ago

I mean, maybe Carol's just not your target reader though.

patriciam229d ago

Tbh, I had a similar thing happen with a beta reader who told me my dialogue tags were doing all the heavy lifting instead of the actual words. It stung because I thought I was being clever with all those 'she whispered urgently' and 'he snapped back' bits. What helped me was taking a week to let it sit, then going back and looking at just those specific examples she pointed out. I realized she was right - my characters were basically telling each other how to feel instead of showing it through what they said. So I rewrote that scene with zero tags except 'said' and it was honestly way better. Hurt like hell in the moment though, no lie.

sage_morgan757d ago

Zero tags except said" is honestly brutal advice but I bet it works. That part about characters telling each other how to feel instead of showing it really stuck with me too. I've been guilty of that same thing, loading up on "she said softly" when the words themselves should be doing the emotional work. Might have to try that rewrite experiment on my next draft, even if it means killing some darlings.