-1

A family dinner in Seoul taught me to never ask about someone's job right away

I was visiting my friend's family in Seoul last fall, and at the big welcome dinner, I made a huge mistake. I asked his cousin what he did for work, thinking it was a normal icebreaker. The whole table went quiet for a second. My friend later told me that in their family's culture, asking about someone's job or salary right off the bat is seen as really rude and pushy. It puts pressure on them to define their worth by their title or income, especially if they're between jobs or in a lower-paying role. He said it's better to ask about hobbies, or the food, or just make general chat about the weather first. That moment changed how I start conversations with people from different backgrounds now. I always wait for them to bring up work first. Has anyone else run into a simple question that's a total landmine in another culture?

3 comments

3 Comments

skyler_carter2mo ago

So the whole table went quiet just for asking about a job?

charles_black242mo ago

Ever see someone ask about pay at a family dinner? My buddy did that once and his uncle got real quiet. It was like he asked something super personal instead of a normal question. Some people just treat money talk like a secret club rule.

perry.nancy2mo ago

Yeah, like Skyler said, the whole table going quiet. Happened to me at a BBQ. I just said "Sounds like a cool field" and moved the talk back to the actual work, not the paycheck. Kept it light.

-1