At a wedding in Seoul last spring I noticed nobody made eye contact with the bride's aunt who had divorced twice

When I asked my Korean friend about it she whispered that divorce is still seen as a family shame there and even at a happy wedding people avoid acknowledging someone who broke that taboo, has anyone else run into this kind of silent judgment at family events in other cultures?

2 comments

2 Comments

stone.jesse10d ago

My buddy Tim got laid off from his factory job back in 2018 and within two weeks three of his regular poker buddies just stopped inviting him. No one said anything but it was like they thought his bad luck would rub off on them if they kept hanging out. That silent treatment stings worse than any argument because it tells you straight up that your value to the group is tied to your paycheck or your relationship status.

barbara_taylor8310d ago

My aunt in Ohio went through two divorces in the 90s and at every Thanksgiving my grandma would set her place at the kids table, not the adults table, for about ten years straight. It was like everyone silently agreed she had failed at being a proper wife so she didn't deserve a seat with the grownups. This whole thing reminds me how we all have these unspoken rules about who gets respect and who gets pushed to the side, depending on how well they match up to some invisible checklist. You see it with job loss too, people stop asking you to hang out if you get fired, like the shame is contagious somehow.