Can we talk about the funeral taboo in my family after grandma's wake?

Last month in Columbus, my grandma passed and my aunt decided to serve the exact same casserole recipe grandma hated her whole life. Nobody said a word during the whole 4 hours, but my cousin whispered to me that it was a passive-aggressive jab about grandma's cooking. I tried to bring it up with my dad later and he shut me down saying 'we don't discuss the dead's preferences.' Has anyone else dealt with family turning a funeral into a silent grudge match over food or other unspoken rules?

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andrewt4124d ago

Hold on, maybe your aunt served that casserole on purpose! Some families use the funeral as the last chance to settle old scores, and food is the easiest way to do it without a fight. Honestly, your dad's rule about not discussing the dead's preferences is pretty smart, because once you open that door, everyone starts trading stories about who grandma wronged 30 years ago. Sounds like your aunt got her jab in and nobody had to pretend to forgive anyone, which is maybe the whole point of a funeral for some people.