Changed my mind about arranged marriage after my cousin in Mumbai explained how her parents actually listened to her preferences

I was sitting at a cafe in Chicago last summer when she video-called me right after her family turned down three proposals because she said no, and that's when I realized the system wasn't what I'd always assumed it was - has anyone else had their view flipped by a real example from a specific culture?

2 comments

2 Comments

blake_smith1mo ago

My cousin in Pakistan had a similar setup where her parents actually showed her the profiles first and she got veto power. They sat down together every Friday night and went through rishtas like it was a project. Her dad even made a spreadsheet with pros and cons based on what she cared about, like career goals and where they'd live. She ended up saying yes to a guy who'd been her second choice on paper because he made her laugh during their chaperoned calls. Completely changed how I saw the whole thing, made it feel more like a team effort than a transaction.

sage_morgan751mo ago

Same, @blake_smith. I used to judge it hard but that sounds pretty good actually.