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Found out my Japanese coworker never says 'no' directly, she says 'it might be difficult'
We were planning a team lunch in Osaka and I asked if she liked a certain restaurant. She said 'chotto muzukashii kana' which she later explained is basically a soft no. Now I'm worried I've been missing hints like this for 2 years. Anyone else learn about a culture's indirect refusal style the hard way?
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henry_palmer2424d ago
Small thing but "chotto muzukashii kana" isnt really a flat no. That kana at the end softens it a lot, almost like shes thinking out loud, so it lands more like "hmm that might be a bit tough" than a hard pass. In a work setting shes basically saying no without putting it on you, since turning something down straight can come off cold between coworkers. The bigger trap is that this exact phrasing gets used for everything from "I really dont want to" to "sure but its a hassle," so you cant always read it the same way. It helps to watch what happens after, like if she suggests another place or just goes quiet.
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