Found a trick for arguing with family about politics without fighting

Last Thanksgiving, I started asking my uncle 'what makes you say that' instead of telling him he was wrong. It cut the tension way down and we actually talked for an hour without raising our voices. Has anyone else tried changing how they ask questions instead of pushing back?

2 comments

2 Comments

emerychen9d ago

my buddy @perry.lee is spot on with this. i've been trying the same approach with my neighbor who's super into conspiracy stuff. what i noticed is that people just want to feel heard, not attacked. once you stop acting like their opinion is stupid and start asking real questions, the whole vibe shifts. it's like the same thing happens at work too when someone brings up a dumb idea in a meeting. if you trash it right away they'll fight for it forever. but if you ask them to break it down, half the time they realize it doesn't hold up on their own. honestly i think society would be way less angry if everyone just stopped being so combative about everything.

perry.lee12d ago

yo that's actually legit! i tried that with my dad last week about some dumb political meme he shared. just asked him where he saw it and why it made sense to him. he calmed down super fast and we talked for like 20 mins without either of us getting pissed off. it's wild how just changing the question flips the whole vibe.